作者：山东 艾临
马克思的女儿利用马克思完成《资本论》第一卷的空隙，让父亲填写了一份“调查报告”。在这份举世闻名的“调查报告”中，马克思坦言喜欢红色。马克思被称为十九世纪欧洲的“红色博士”，他主编的《新莱茵报》第301期，就是全红色印刷出版的，巴黎公社的旗子是一尺长、半尺宽的红布。从此，红色就成了社会主义和革命斗士的象征性颜色。
由于种种原因，以前我们对这类珍贵的红色幽默宣传不够。而谈笑风生、诙谐幽默历来是共产党人和革命导师的天才气质。从下面的数则片段中，我们可以领略到伟人们的幽默风采。
Deng Xiaoping fears nothing
邓小平无所畏惧
Deng Xiaoping’s political career experienced “three-all but three-rise”, surging forward with great momentum(势头，冲力). Being in power again of his later years, he was still hale and hearty, reforming with keen determination. A foreign friend asked the short man, known for his pragmatism(实用主义)—“It doesn’t matter if a cat is black or white as long as it catches mice”:
“Since the influence of conservatives is still strong and big now, don’t you scruple to reform?” As the grand architect of China’s economic reformers, Deng answered humorously:“I have nothing to fear. Should the sky fall down, these tall fellows could prop(支撑) it up.”
邓小平的政治生涯“三落三起”，波澜壮阔。晚年复出时仍身体健朗，锐意改革。当一位外国友人问起身材矮小、以实用主义名言“不管黑猫白猫，逮住老鼠就是好猫”而著称的他：
“现在保守势力依然强大，你对改革有所顾虑吗？”这位中国改革的总设计师 幽默地说：“怕什么，天塌下来，还有高个子顶着呢。”
Tips(词义辨析):
scruple：(常用于否定句)顾忌，犹豫
shrink：(因令人生畏或令人厌恶的东西而)畏缩不前，犹豫不决
As she moved threateningly forward he shrank back from him.
(她步步紧逼，他节节败退。)
shirk：(因逃避义务、责任而)畏缩或不合作
You are on duty today, so stop shirking and erase the blackboard!
(今天是你们值日，别躲了，快擦黑板吧。)
Moving couch
搬沙发
When Mao Zedong wanted to move a couch out of his study, thus his bodyguards were busy doing it for long time, unsuccessfully. Feng Yaosong who was in charge of bodyguards reported:
“The door is too small to move the couch out. Let the couch remain indoors straightforward(直接了当地).” Mao Zedong said:“There is a matter I can’t figure out(领会到，计算出)—is it to build the house prior to the sofa or to place the sofa prior to the house?”
毛泽东想把沙发搬出书房，警卫们忙了半天也没成功。警卫长封耀松说：“门太小，出不去，干脆留在屋里算了。”毛泽东则说：“有件事我就想不通了，是先盖的房子后放的沙发呢，还是先放好沙发再盖这房子呢？”
Tips(添加字母记单词):
ouch：疼痛时的哎哟声
couch：长沙发，沙发睡椅
crouch：蹲伏，弯腰
Marx’s mirror
马克思的镜子
Young Marx and Jenny had mutual affinity, but neither of them spoke out “I love you” precipitately(鲁莽地；仓促地). One day Marx said to Jenny:“I already have my girlfriend.” Jenny was taken aback first, then brooked no delay to ask:“Is she a peach?” “Unrivalled(无对手的).”
Marx took out a case and said:“You’ll know once you see her photograph.” Jenny looked into fidgetily(坐立不安) but simply found her own face like peach blossoms.
So it was Marx placed a mirror inside beforehand. Jenny finally saw the light.
青年马克思和燕妮心心相印，但谁也没有轻易说出那三个字。一天，马克思对燕妮说：“我已经有女朋友了。”燕妮先是一愣，又迫不及待地问：“她漂亮吗？”“举世无双。”
接着马克思拿出一个小盒子说：“你看看她的照片就知道了。”燕妮忐忑不安地往里一看，看到的是自己那桃花般的脸庞。
原来马克思在里面放了一面小镜子。燕妮心里明白了。
Tips(词义辨析):
affinity ：强烈喜爱，亲和力
predilection： 偏爱
Mao Zedong faces shell fragment
毛泽东面对弹片
In March of 1947, Hu Zongnan assaulted against Yan’an. A heavy bomb fell down in front of the cave dwelling (窑洞) where Mao Zedong just lived. Someone picked up a piece of shrapnel(弹片) and showed it to Mao. Mao Zedong weighed it in hand and said:“ Make a fortune! It can be made into two kitchen knives.”
1947年3月，胡宗南攻打延安。一颗重磅炸弹落在毛泽东的窑洞前，有人拣起一块弹片给毛泽东看。毛泽东掂量了一下说：“发财啦，能打两把菜刀呢。”
Tips:
assault：攻击，强击
assail：猛烈不间断的攻击， 痛击
Assail with fierce blows to the boxer’s head.
猛击 拳击手的头部。
besiege：围攻
The Greeks besieged Troy.
希腊人围攻特洛伊城。
bombard：炮弹、导弹的袭击
Enimy positions were bombarded before our infantry attacked.
先炮轰敌军的阵地，再由步兵发起攻击。
Premier Zhou’s witty remark
周总理的睿智
At the beginning of 1950’s a European diplomat felt like purchasing a pair of stone lions of Yonghegong Temple at 500,000 dollars, but the managing lama was disinclined to sell this national treasure. That diplomat solicited(恳求) Premier Zhou, thus Premier Zhou remarked wittily:“Given your gusto(兴致) you can see them several times more; Given your the national people like them, they can frequently visit China, Ok ?”
五十年代初，一位欧洲外交官想出五十万美元买雍和宫的一对石狮子，主持喇嘛不肯卖这个国宝。那位外交官找到周总理，周总理风趣地说：“你喜欢，可以多去看几次；你们国家的人喜欢，可以让他们多来中国几次嘛！”
Tips:
disincline：使讨厌, 不感兴趣
averse：不愿意的, 反对的
I’m not averse to keeking a pet dog.
我倒不反对养狗。
loath：不情愿的, 勉强的
She seemed somewhat loath to depart.她似乎不愿意离开。
unwilling：不愿意的, 勉强的
reluctant：不顾的, 勉强的
Zhu De poses as “mess cook”
朱德当“伙夫”
During a defeated combat(战斗) in early years, the enemy soldiers howled to capture Zhu De alive. Under the extremely urgent circumstances, scarcely had Zhu De grabbed an apron from the kitchen and tied around his body when the swarm of enemy soldiers broke in(强行进入). A soldier pointed at the “mess cook” asking like a fiend(恶魔): “Where did Zhu De escape?” The “mess cook” pointed to a swampy(沼泽的) mountain ditch, saying calmly:“There.” The soldiers chased(追击) after that way, all roaring.
早年有次战斗失利，敌人嚎叫着要活捉朱德。情况万分危急，朱德顺手从厨房拣起一个围裙系在身上，紧接着敌军蜂拥而至。一个士兵指着“伙夫”恶魔般地问：“朱德往哪儿跑了？”“伙夫”指着一条泥泞的山沟，从容地说：“那边。” 敌军呼啸而去。 (2006-2007学年第31期) |
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