Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH

I don't think I should have to answer that question.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken

crossing the road represented the application of these two different

functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater

services to the American people.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by

unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled

habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels

of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing

order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a

certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other

side". That's what they call it -the other side. Yes, my friends, that

chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say

we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal

media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side".

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without

having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us

that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken

tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it suffered a

serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of

crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death

its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road

reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?

Could you define chicken please?

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?