1. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。

2. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

窃钩者诛，窃国者为诸侯。

3. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

小孩子要中间名，纯粹是为了让他知道他啥时候真的有麻烦了。

起个全名就为了揍孩子前可以底气十足地喊出来。

贾君鹏这名字就为了让他妈喊他回家吃饭！

4. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

无愧于心哈？记性不好吧？

5. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

好客就是：让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。

6. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

越活越二。

活到老，二到老。

7. Just remember…if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

记着吧……世界要不恶心，我们早被吐掉了。(提示：看出哪个词是一语双关了吗？)

8. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。

9. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

世界总是在变，但我却怎么也便不出来。

人生何处不杯具，唯有面对饮水机。