1

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you has screwed up my life

我的心肝，我的宝贝，我美丽的媳妇儿，

劳资这辈子就毁在了你手里。

2

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

梦里都是你的脸，

每次都会惊醒大叫“我去，又做噩梦了”。

3

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

脾气好、脑子灵、巨体贴，身材好，

为什么没有一条说的是你呀！

4

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

爱情是天赐良缘，爱情是多么美好，

可我睡了你只是因为我喝高。

5

I thought that I could love no other

-- that is until I met your brother.

曾天真地以为一生只爱你一个

直到我遇见你二表哥。

6

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,

and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

鲜红的玫瑰，魅惑的紫罗兰，甜蜜的糖衣，就像你一样。

但玫瑰会枯黄，紫罗兰会凋谢，糖碗空空如也，和你的脑袋一样。

7

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

多渴望你给一个温柔的拥抱，

但别让我看到你的脸好不好。

8

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

我爱你的笑，你的脸庞，你的明眸，

妈蛋，我说起谎来真是草稿都不用打！

9

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

亲爱的，我已经无法呼吸了。

你身上哪来的怪味啊？

10

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "Go to hell."

我对你的深情真是无以言表，

除了一句“滚犊子”！

11

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

什么让我如此风情万种诗情画意？

是两杯伏特加一片酸柠檬。