职场往往是大家最常被提出要求的时候，无论个人的想法基于什么立场，如果提出要求者 (asker) 提出的不合理或者过分的要求，被要求者 (askee) 可以分析一下对方的言语。让我们来学习以下 4 种常见的说服手法，如果下一次有人把想好的台词搬出来，想要借用言语达到目的，你就会有完全的准备，了解他的把戏了，即使要用英文回话也不怕！



1. Reciprocity：互惠

人与人之间有要求「公平对待」的默契，只有白目的人才会单方面地接受别人的付出与心意。可是如果对方给你「X」，转过来要求比「X」的价值超越许多的「Y」，你可能就没有配合他的义务。如果马上把「X」退还可能太突然了，所以你也需要运用言语，让对方知道你会拿与「X」同样价值的东西反馈他，可是「Y」的问题他还是要自己想办法了。

Asker:

You have to try this chocolate croissant!They are usually sold out at around 4 pm, and I saved the last one just for you. By the way, I got to leave a few hours early today to pick up my uncle at the airport. Please cover for me. Make sure you lock up, and don’t say anything to the boss.

你一定要尝尝看这个巧克力可颂！通常下午4点就会卖完了，我特别把最后一个留给你。啊，顺便讲一下，今天我需要早几个小时离开，去机场接我舅舅，拜托罩我一下。记得锁门，而且什么都不要跟老板讲。

Askee:

Thank you for the croissant. Let me at least give you the money for it. I will get it for you next time. But I have to leave on time today because I have dinner plans. The boss will be back soon, and she will probably notice that you disappear in the middle of the afternoon.

谢谢你的可颂，至少让我把钱给你，下次我来买吧。可是我今天因为晚餐有约需要准时离开。老板很快就会回来，她可能会发现你在下午突然消失哦！



2. Making two asks：提出两个要求

这种两段式的心机比较复杂。要求者已经盘算过了，会一开口就提出不合理的「X」。如果你竟然同意，他就赚到了。但如果你拒绝，他也没有损失，反而会抓住机会，要求跟「X」比较起来比较没那么严重的「Y」。他也知道你第一次拒绝他时会心有愧疚，所以第二个比较合理的要求便成为补偿他的机会，强烈的增加他的胜算！

Asker:

I know you told me that you have plans over the weekend… If you cannot help me move, would you be willing to send the package at the post office for me?

我知道你周末已经有事了…… 那如果你不能帮我搬家，你是否愿意到邮局帮我寄个包裹？

Askee:

As I told you, I have to get ready for my seminar that starts at 8 am tomorrow. The post office is going to be extremely crowded this afternoon, and it won’t be possible for me to get in line for hours to fulfill your personal errand.

我跟你讲过，我得为了明早8点的研讨会做准备。而且今天下午邮局会很多人，我真的不可能排队几个小时来完成你的个人差事。



3. 锚定效应：Anchoring effect



“Anchor” 是「锚」，而 “anchoring effect” 就是把思绪比喻为在海上漂泊的船、必须把锚丢下海来让它不再随波逐流；也就表示，脑海中一旦有一个参考基准，人就会比较容易接受范围内的数据或信息。推销者利用话术，很爱强调「X」的通用与普遍，让你感觉如果拒绝「X」，最好还是接受类似的「Y」，要不然就会漂到不正常的范围了。

Asker:

Most people who care about the environment make monthly donations of NT$200 or more, but you can decide how much you want to donate.

大多数关心环境的人每个月至少捐款台币200元，但你还是可以自己决定你要捐多少。

Askee:

Thank you for the wonderful opportunity that allows me to contribute. But there are so many organizations fighting to protect the environment. I prefer to do more in-depth research online first, and then decide where my donations should go.

谢谢你给我这么棒的机会让我可以做出一点贡献，可是有那么多的组织为了环保在奋斗，我想要在网上做更深入的研究，再决定我应该要捐款给哪个组织。



4. Establishing similarity between asker and askee：建立提问者与被问者之间的相似性

人性驱使我们期望找到对方与自己的共同点。如果有求于你的人与你有类似的外表、背景、特质或想法，也许你的同理心就会让你想帮助一位与你类似的地球公民。可是相对来讲，建立相似性也是简单的小心机！当一个人赞同你、或者大声的指出他与你类似的地方，最好先分析一下他的出发点，先问自己：”Why would this person say this?” ，然后下一步也会很容易的了解 this person wants something from me！

Asker:

Oh mine, I love your new dress! I have one just like it. I also like your idea regarding redesigning the flowchart of the annual conference’s seating arrangement. It will save every one so much time. I always had similar thoughts. Guess great minds do think alike!Oh, just one more thing, I have to meet a client for lunch, so I need your help with the slides. Please make sure you check the figures, proofread the writing, and reorganize the format!

天啊，我好喜欢妳的新洋装，我也有一件很像的！我也很爱妳那个重新设计年度会议座位流程的提议，可以省大家超多时间，我一直有类似的想法，大概英雄所见略同！哦，还有一件事，我中午要赶去与客户吃午饭，我需要妳帮我做这个简报，要记得检查数据、校对文字与重设格式！

Askee:



I’d love to help. But I promised the boss that I will complete the conference’s ad today. You and your team are all great researchers. I believe if you put your heads together, you will create the best presentation slides ever!

我很乐意帮忙，但我答应了老板今天完成年度会议的广告。妳与妳的团队都是很杰出的研究员，我相信如果你们一起合作，就能创造出最好的简报！

了解如何不伤和气的拒绝同事了，那么对于上级或者老板的无理要求，应该怎么应付呢？这边可以参考一下拒绝老板的 4 个例句，把你可能遭遇的情境套用进去试试看吧：



1. So sorry boss! I clocked out five minutes ago, and my cab is waiting. I got to go meet my friend. Tonight is the last night that she is visiting, and I am already late. I’ll have the presentation slides ready tomorrow morning. Is that okay?

老板，抱歉，我五分钟前已经打卡下班了，出租车在等我，因为我已经跟朋友有约，今晚是她待在附近的最后一个晚上，而我已经迟到了。简报明天早上一定会好，可以吗？



2. I sincerely appreciate you let me take time off when I had a family emergency. But I cannot take on new clients until next month, because I want to ensure the quality of my services to my current clients.

我真的很感谢你在我家里有急事时准假 。但我要到下个月才能接受新的客户，因为我也得保持我对于现在手上客户的服务质量。



3. I would love to join you for a drink, and unwind myself. But I have to attend a seminar most nights this week, then run home after that, so the babysitter can go home herself. I regret that I am unable to join you, but I hope you will have a wonderful time.

我很想要跟您去喝一杯，放松一下。但我这星期几乎每晚都要参加一个研讨会，然后赶快回家让保姆也可以回家。很遗憾不能够加入你们，但希望你们玩得愉快！



4. Thank you so much for offering me a position at the new branch. I know most employees would kill for the opportunity. But I just moved to a place that’s close to my parents, and the new branch is far from where I live now. It will be extremely difficult for me to get to work on time.

非常感谢您想让我转到新的分公司！我知道大多数的员工都迫不及待想要这种机会。但我最近刚搬到离我爸妈很近的新家，新的分行会离我很远，准时上班会非常困难。