Happiness is equal to or greater than the difference between the way you see the events of your life and your expectation of how life should behave. You buy a new mobile phone and it works perfectly well. That's your state as a child coming new to the world, everything is working perfectly well. You're always happy. Then you start to install weird apps on top of it. Right? You start to install an app that says 'I need to control everything'. You need to install another app that says 'I need to worry and plan for everything'. Those apps make you function properly in life, but they mess up your operating system completely.

I love Ali and so I spent my life planning for Ali's future. Then life missed my expectations. Life took him away. Life missed my expectations. That's it. I can either do something about it or sometimes unfortunately I have to accept and commit to make tomorrow slightly better than today. You can tell yourself 'well, I'm going to expect my partner to slap me on the face twice everyday'. That's my expectation from now on. So on the days when he or she slaps me once, that's a great day. I'm happy. Is that the way we want to go through life? No. We want to go through life with realistic, even stretching expectations. Right? Expectations that make us successful, positive contributors to life. It's the way we handle those expectations when they're missed. That makes all the difference for our state of happiness.

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快乐等于或大于你看待生活的方式与你期待生活应该是怎么样的之间的差异。你买了一个新手机，这个手机运行得相当好。这就是一个新生儿刚来到这个世界时的状态，一切都运行得非常好。你一直都是快乐的。然后你开始往手机上安装一些奇怪的应用程序。对吗？你开始安装一个应用程序，那个程序告诉你‘你需要掌控所有事情’。你又需要安装另一个程序，它说‘你需要关注和计划所有事情’。这些应用程序让你可以适当地生活，但是它们却把你自己的运行系统搞得一团糟。我爱阿里，所以我花时间为他的未来做计划。生活让我的期望落空了。生活把他带走了。生活让我的期望落空了。只是这样。当期望落空时，我可以为此做一些事情，或者有时候，很遗憾，我不得不接受这个事实，然后努力让明天变得比今天稍微好一些。你可以告诉你自己‘好吧，我期待我的合作伙伴每天扇我两个耳光’。这就是我从今往后的期望。所以那些日子他或她只扇了我一次，我会觉得今天真棒。我很快乐。这就是我们过日子的方式吗？不是的。我们应该怀着实际的、甚至高一些的期待生活。对吗？期待做这些事情可以使我们成功，期待做那些事情可以让我们积极生活。这是当那些期待落空时我们应对的方式。它也是使我们彻底变得快乐的原因所在。