[分享][转帖]轻松一刻(中英文)

发布者: Grace | 发布时间: 2006-1-2 10:59| 查看数: 4218| 评论数: 11|

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The Picture is Half Good and Half Bad
An artist had painted a child holding a basket of fruit. A friend of his, who admired this picture, wishing to show its perfection, said to some persons who were examining it that the fruit appeared so natural that the birds came to peck at it. A countryman, who heard these praises, said: "If this fruit is as well represented as you say, it is not so with the child, since he does not frighten the birds." 


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　　　　　　　　毁誉掺半的画 　　一位艺术家画了张画:一个孩子提着一篮水果.他的朋友很欣赏这幅画,他很想告诉别人这画的美妙之处,就对几个正在细看画的人说,画中的水果画得多么逼真,连鸟都会来啄的. 一个村夫听了这些赞美的话就说:"如果水果画得真像你说的那样好,那么小孩就画得不怎么样了,因为他没有吓住那些鸟." </TD></TR></TABLE>

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-1-8 14:12:50编辑过]

child, fruit, Half, 中英文, 转帖

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Grace 发表于 2006-1-3 12:07:00

How to Get a Seat by the Fire

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A gentleman came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire. He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse. "Will your horse eat oysters?"said the hostler. "Try him,"said the gentleman. Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and the gentleman who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.
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 　　　　　　　怎样在火炉旁找个座位 在一个严寒的冬日,一位绅士来到了一家小客栈,发现火炉旁没有空位了.于是,他让旅店里的马倌去取些牡蛎来喂他的马。 马倌说:"您的马吃牡蛎吗?" "你试着喂吧."绅士答道。 倾刻间,人们都跑去看这一奇观,而绅士却独自呆在屋里,他在炉旁找了个最好的座位,怡然自得起。 </TD></TR></TABLE>

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-1-3 12:14:58编辑过]

Grace 发表于 2006-1-4 08:25:03

04-January-06:
Twice 5 Make 10
Jemmy did not know his lesson. The teacher said to him: "We do not know our lesson, we shall write it out ten times for tomorrow."The next day Jemmy gave his task to the teacher, who said: "You only write your lesson five times, why?" "Because,"answered Jemmy, "you said, 'We shall write our lesson ten times,'so I wrote it five times myself. I thought that you would write the five other times yourself, Sir!" 

两个五遍就是十遍 吉米不懂课文内容,于是老师告诉他:"我们不懂得课文内容,我们要抄写十遍课文明天交." 吉米把作业交给了老师,老师问道:"你为什么只抄了五遍?" 吉米回答说:"因为你说过,'我们要抄十遍',所以我就抄了五遍,我想另外的五遍你会抄的."

coconut 发表于 2006-1-4 12:55:50

与其说这是笑话，不如把他们称为智语。
特别是第一个，很值得推敲。[em27]

流水绯红 发表于 2006-1-4 13:52:27

<H1> 超速行驶的理由：让风吹干我的汽车</H1>
惠灵顿:一个新西兰男人以超过法定速度的两倍开车而被拘,他的理由是需要加大油门好让风吹干他的汽车。37岁的罗杰·丹尼尔以每小时120公里的速度在限速50公里的新西兰北部城镇璜加雷一带开车被逮住后给出了这么一个新奇的理由,《主权邮报》报道。"汽车后部湿了,我想用这种方法来代替擦干它,"他对警方说道。而这一解释并没有给警方留下好印象,他被罚款191美元,吊扣行驶执照6个月。WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand man caught driving at more than twice the legal speed limit claimed he needed to step on the gas in order to blow-dry his car. Roger Daniel, 37, offered the novel excuse after he was nabbed traveling at over 120 kilometers per hour in a 50 kph zone in the northern town of Whangarei, the DominionPost newspaper reported. "I have a bad back and just thought I would do that instead of having to chamois it dry," he told police. The explanation failed to impress: Daniel was fined $191 and had his licence suspended for six months.

Grace 发表于 2006-1-5 08:11:16

05-January-06
Walter Scott and the Beggar
Sir Walter Scott was riding one day in the neighbourhood of Abbotsford, his residence; be came to a field-gate through which he wanted to pass and which an Irish beggar, who happened to be near, hastened to open for him. Walter Scott wanted to give him a six penny piece to reward him for this service; but not finding any in his purse he presented him with a shilling saying, "You will owe me six pence, my good fellow." "God bless you!"said the beggar: "May your honor live until I pay you!"



沃尔特·司各脱和乞丐 一天、沃尔特·司各脱爵士在他的住地阿博特斯福特附近骑马,他来到一个篱笆门前,想过去.一个刚巧在近旁的爱尔兰乞丐急忙为他打开了门. 沃尔特·司各脱想奖赏给他一枚六便士的硬币,但他在钱包里找不到便士,于是他给了他一个先令,说:"你将欠我六便士,我亲爱的朋友."乞丐说:"上帝保佑您!愿阁下长寿,直到我能还清债的那一天!"

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-1-5 8:14:20编辑过]

samin 发表于 2006-1-5 11:34:55

actually,Sir Walter Scott didn't die even if the field-gate gave back him one shilling,the field-gate forgot he had a shilling already which is more than six pence
funny it is Grace do a good job

Grace 发表于 2006-1-5 18:58:40

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用coconut在2006-1-4 12:55:50的发言： 
与其说这是笑话，不如把他们称为智语。
特别是第一个，很值得推敲。[em27]</DIV>
是啊,有很多笑话里都含有真理的哦

Grace 发表于 2006-1-6 08:30:51

06-January-06

lacing Stamps on a Letter
A lady employed a maid-servant being very stupid. She asked her to send a letter, saying: "Go posting this letter, Betty, on which the stamp was already placed, I'm afraid the letter will be overweight. If it is, place the other penny stamp on it."Ten minutes later, Betty returned. The hostess asked her, "Did you post my letter?" "Yes , I did, Madam."answered Betty. "I hope you didn't place another stamp on the letter that it would not cover up the address." "Oh, no, madam, I didn't I placed the second stamp just on the first stamp."said Betty. 

贴邮票 一位太太雇了一个愚蠢的女仆.一次她对女仆说:"贝蒂,把这封信寄掉,信封上已经贴了邮票,但我怕信超重.如果真超重,你把另一张一便士的邮票贴上去." 十分钟后,贝蒂回来了.女主人问她:"你把我的信寄了吗?"贝蒂回答说:"寄了,太太.""我希望你没有在贴另一张邮票时盖住了信封上的地址.""喔!不,太太,我把第二枚邮票贴在第一枚的上面了."贝蒂说. 

 
至理名言
If your ship doesn't come in ,swim out to it!
 -------Jonathan Winters
如果你的船不驶进来,那你就朝它游过去吧!
 ----------丁.温特斯

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-1-6 8:49:34编辑过]

samin 发表于 2006-1-6 09:36:17

if the lady is a bad woman,then I will do that to her as Betty did

Grace 发表于 2006-1-7 11:49:44

大家好呀!
不好意思,今天迟到了,早上一来打不开网页啊
07-January-06
A Scotchman<o:p></o:p>
A Scotchman when in <st1:City><st1:place>London</st1:place></st1:City> lost a five-dollar bill out of his pocket,and while he was looking for it a policeman came and asked him:”what are you doing there ?”The Scotchman told him and the pliceman said:“Leave your address,and if I find it ,I shall send it to you .”<o:p></o:p>
A year after the Scotchman returned to <st1:City><st1:place>London</st1:place></st1:City> and passed the place where he had lost his five dollars.As many workers were busy building the underground railway,the whole of the street was up .”Dear me,”he said to himself,”why has the policeman taken all that trouble to find my five dollars?”

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 苏格兰人 一个苏格兰人在伦敦时,一张五美元的纸币从他口袋里掉了出来.当他正在寻找时,一位警察走过来问他:"你在那儿干什么?"苏格兰人告诉了他,警察说:"留下你的地址,假如我找到了,会给你送上的." 一年以后,这位苏格兰人又来到伦敦,又经过了他曾掉落纸币的地方.当时许多工人正在忙于建造地铁,整条街道都翻了个儿.苏格兰人自言道:"哎呀!这个警察为什么要这么费事地去寻找我的五个美元呢?"

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-1-7 11:50:34编辑过]

黑色森林 发表于 2010-7-26 22:30:52

Thank you for sharing joy and fun

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