When a husband or wife is“stolen”by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The“love band it”was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.

当丈夫或妻子被另一个人“偷走”时，那个丈夫或妻子被“盗”的时机已经成熟，他/她早已移情别恋。这位“爱匪”不过是取走等人取走、盼人取走的东西。



　　Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweet heart being taken from us by some body more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder——but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweet heart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that“caused”the break, but the lack of a real relationship.



　　我们多数人年轻时都有过这样的经历：恋人被某个更有诱惑力、更有吸引力的人夺去。当时，我们或许怨恨这位入侵者，但是后来长大了，也就认识到了心上人本来就不属于我们。并不是入侵者“导致”了决裂，而是缺乏坚实的感情基础。



　　On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a“third party”. This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving amarriage that had already lost its essential integrity.



　　从表面上看，许多婚姻似乎是因为有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而这是一种心理上的幻觉。第三者无非是作为借口，用来解除早就不是完好无损的婚姻罢了。



　　Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has“come between”oneself and a beloved. This is always adistortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others——they are freeagents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.



　　因失恋而痛苦，因别人“插足”于自己与心上人之间而图报复，是最没有出息、最自作自受的乐。这歪曲了事实真相，因为人,并非他人的“俘虏”或“牺牲品”,都是自由的,命运是好是坏，都应该由自己做主。



　　But there jected lover or mate can not afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him——and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper.



　　He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any“third party”has appeared on the scene.



　　但是，遭离弃的情人或配偶无法相信他(她)的心爱的人是情愿地离他(她)而去的——因而他(她)归咎于插足者心术不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠师、窃贼或破坏家庭的人。然而，从大多数事例看，一个家庭的破裂，远远早于“第三者”登场之前。