Ten years later Firstly , I want to begin my speech with a well-known fairy tale, Cinderella. It’s about an unfortunate girl with an unhappy family, always being abused by her step-mother and two ugly sisters. All what she does is working, working and working. Perhaps only god knows what will happen to someone. A pair of shoes changes her life extremely. She turns into an elegant princess instead of a poor girl.

I know, I’m not as beautiful as her, and have a happy family. But there’re also some commons between us. For at one time we are both unnoticed by the persons who we care very much and live in our own world alone. Nevertheless, I’m sure that I will be an elegant young lady someday, just like Cinderella. I’ll find the pair of shoes with my hard working and brain.

Ten years later, I’ll become a giver from a taker. I should gain the ability to take care of my parents. Also I’ll have strong will, no longer shed tears easily, get over unhappy things quickly.

Ten years later, my student life must have come to an end. But I’m also on the way to learn how to be a good doctor, for ten years is too short to become an experienced one. Then I should be modest to absorb more medical knowledge and obtain useful experience.

In a word, ten years later, I, an average girl, will turn into a young lady with good manners, strong will and confidence. And I still work hard for my future.

Ten years later, I’ll prove to you, I believe.

不久就要用了,自己不知道怎么改了,可能的话,大家可不可以给我点意见......

期待ING

I know, I’m not as beautiful as her, and have a happy family.

Perhaps there's a problem here.In thatsentence, You mean you don't have a happy family?But why?Ijust don't understand.

Some words and expressions are obscure.

e.g."extremely", "turns into"...

Give you some advice: to read a lot and to take in more.

1 Use past tense to narrate a story.

2 changes her life extremely->changed her life entirely/completely

3 For at one time we are both unnoticed by the persons who we care very much and live in our own world alone. ->

For we are both ordinary people, without outstanding beauty, talent or wealth.

4 with good manners, strong will and confidence->

with elegance, confidence and ambitions/determination.

5 you mentioned the doctor as your career, but only once. what i suggest is, either you talk more about it, or you avoid it.

thank you very much.

my poor english!!!!!

ok

i will read a lot and to take in more

thank you